Who I am is not my relationship status

One of the things about my generation that blows my mind is how we determine a relationship's seriousness and sincerity by how it comes across on Facebook, especially via the infamous relationship status. If something isn't "FB official" we doubt the commitment level and whether the two people can handle having the world know.


In truth, some of us just don't think it's needed to post about our little lives constantly. If you want to know where I stand, ask me. I'm not condemning Facebook or using it to keep up with others. But I also don't think we should assume where anyone stands based off of posting online in any medium.


See, it goes like this. I'm not worth anything because of who I know, what I say, or what I do. That feels like pretty basic head-nodding material, but think about it. What you do and say means nothing if you do it for and by yourself. Essentially, I am worthless without Christ.


And in Him, I am worth everything.


Whether Facebook or anything else says I'm in a relationship or single, it doesn't matter. That doesn't make me worth anything more or less. Even if I AM dating someone, that still doesn't change my identity at it's purest and most raw level. I am loved and beautiful and freed and a dancing daughter of the King because He made me so, not because he made me so. If you catch my drift.


If not, let me break it down for you. God is the only one who gets say in my worth. If any boy (or girl) calls me beautiful or valued or sweet, they're certainly right, but not because they said it. Little he (boy and/or man) can certainly speak worth to me, but his approval or lack thereof doesn't change me one iota. Sorry, boys. Big He (Daddy/God) says I'm all that and more. He gets to say that, see, He kinda made me like that. Can't argue with how I'm made.


You tracking? If not, email me. I'm pretty sure my email is somewhere on this page...


My point is this: because I am everything in Christ, I am free to relate to people. If I run into people (boys particularly) and date or not, that's cool. I just am looking to share life. Whether or not we're dating or "FB official" or at whatever marker that says how committed we are doesn't really matter to me. As long as we're happy, we're just gonna go for it. The last thing I want to do is ever shape a relationship because of how I'll have to explain it or how people will think of it.


"In Christ alone, my hope is found."
May that be true in all our lives.


All my love,
Lauren

Dear Boys, an Apology

Dear boys,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the horrible treatment, the gossip, the judgement, the pressure, the expectations and the double standards.
I'm sorry that for years us girls have been showing off how we deserve to be treated better, but all the while, we're refusing to even care about how you are doing that day.
Sure, we kinda care. We'll check in occasionally. We definitely care if something will affect how you feel about US. For our selfish ways, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the times I have broken your heart and walked all over it. Even if you broke up with me, that was no excuse to flirt with every boy in front of you, try to make you jealous, or tempt you.
Sorry for thinking that we need to tempt you in order to get your attention, especially when that attention is already on someone else.

I'm sorry for thinking that men who care don't exist, while pressuring you to be the tough ones.
I'm sorry for thinking that you didn't have feelings.
Thank you, brothers, for being such men. Thank you for treating us right, for treating us like princesses and for holding us when we cry. Thank you for how blatant and honest you are with us. Thank you for the genuine smiles, and the laughs that we share. Thank you for trying to be the best man you can be.
I'm just sorry we don't treat you better.

Sincerely,

These Dancing Daughters of the King

Just a Boy

This is a song I wrote in the summer of 2011. I found it in some old stuff, and thought I'd share.

~~~

I was falling down

Stumbling on my own way.

Thought I knew it all,

But then came the day:

I fell too far,

For something that wouldn't last.

But God picked me up

In His love that's deep and vast.

See you're just a boy

Who's never been mine.

But I've got my God

To keep me satisfied.

Now, each day gets better,

But each day still hurts.

Just know that I'm healing,

I can't get worse.

'Cuz you're just a boy

Who's never been mine.

But I've got my God,

To keep me satisfied.

I've moved on,

My heart's been made pure.

I don't need you now

And I won't cry anymore.

See, you're just a boy

Who's never been mine.

But I've got my God,

And I'll be just fine.

~~~

Have you ever listened to Ooh Ahh by Grits? If not, I recommend that you do. Right now. I'm a huge fan.

Anyways, In the song, there is a line,

The fear of never falling in love and the tears after losing the feeling of what you thought love was.

Last Summer, that was what I felt like. I cried pointless tears over a guy who dumped me because I thought that I had lost "love." I felt like I'd never be whole again, and a part of me would always be missing. The pain I felt in my heart burdened me and brought me down. One day, though, while just playing around on the piano, it hit me. I felt better than I had the day before. I was gonna be alright. There, in my moment of revelation, this song was born. After I had finished it, I felt lighter knowing that I didn't need that boy in order to be happy. I found the true love of God which was enough to keep me fully satisfied.

It has a tune and stuff, but I don't have the ability or talent to record and/or post. Sorry team!

Video Games Ate My Boyfriend

There is a reason this post is actually hypothetical.

The reason that this is all hypothetical, is that, well, video games ate all the potential boys. You know, the ones we’re supposed to enjoy flirting with and baking food for. Yeah, them. Munch, munch, munch went the video game, and poof went the boyfriends. I guess those boys were tasty (not that I’d know, the games keep them pretty isolated, much like an envious ex), because they’re all gone now! Like really good muffins at a party- They’re just…gone.

As we speak, all the boys we should be talking to, rather than writing silly self-help posts about, are all in basements across the country, gluing their eyes and fingers to glowing rectangle boxes that make gory sounds. Which really isn’t natural. What primitive creature will be found in a dark hole with something noisy and bright? None. Most creatures don’t do that, except for all eligible men. These men then lose eligibility because they’re hiding in dark holes doing absolutely nothing except murder people with false semi-automatic weapons.

Not to say that video games are bad. I’m sure that there are some out there that teach your grandma to knit better or improve your dad’s balance, and we all know that better-knit scarves and dads who don’t collapse randomly are good. After all, who’s gonna fix that ladder you broke or what’s gonna keep your neck warm in the winter?

But what is bad about them then? When the boys who used to be funny and sweet and chivalrous and charming (yes, those things used to exist, they’re not just myths!) disappeared into dark rooms and behind doors. That's a problem.

They do like to be social about it too. You can find clumps of guys hiding in these corners and laughing when a woman’s head falls off with excess blood. What does that say about gender roles? Where is my suffrage? Do I have a right to veto Modern Warfare 3? Isn’t this democracy? Shouldn’t I get my peaceful say without hordes of teenage boys with no social skills trying to kill me with guns that don’t really exist?

So what is the draw of these games? If they shut the guys out from all the attractive girls who are sitting around waiting to see another male specimen under the age of old, why would a guy even bother?

We went inside to the source: a couple teenagers whose favorite pastimes include Modern Warfare 3, Black Ops, Halo: Reach, and Skyrim.

Stay tuned for exclusive interviews with the potential boyfriends who were eaten.